One of my bosses is a little nosy and wants to know everything about everyone. She always asks me personal questions such as: salary, who we voted for, who we're dating, etc. I think she's just trying to be friendly and thinks that by discussing personal information, she can get close to us. It's always an awkward situation for me because I know that she expects an answer, but at the same time I don't feel comfortable sharing this information with her. I wish I could just tell her that I don't want to share information with her sometimes, but she's also the controlling type and I know she will take it personally. So it's a difficult issue. Managers need to make sure that their actions don't make employees feel uncomfortable and that they're not overstepping their boundaries.
2 comments:
This could be rather awkward. You don’t want to offend your boss but at the same time some of her questions are rather personal. It sounds like she might have a hard time drawing a line between her professional and private life. It does get to be a bit uncomfortable when your boss wants to become your friend but it usually doesn’t work that way. Sure, everyone wants to feel loved and popular but you are getting paid to get work done, not to butter up to your superiors. Maybe you can try steering the conversation away to less personal issues next time by changing the topic or you could always throw the question back at her by saying “Oh you don’t want to hear about my boring life, I’m sure you have much more interesting stories to tell.”
It may be that she is trying to be friendly, but it may also be the case that she is someone who does not understand her boundaries, or the boundaries of relationships. Those boundaries should be mutually understood in any relationship, and if they are to be breached or modified, it should also be consensual. The difficulty lies in the potential coercive and legitimate power she has in the situation. As you observe, you would not want to create a situation where her offense becomes your discomfiture or demise in the organization. As to strategies... well: you could turn the conversation towards her, you could answer in vagueries, you could give fictional information. These are not guaranteed for success and all have their own disadvantages.
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